October 2005

Nanchang

In October, 2005 nine families from Ontario, Manitoba, and British Columbia celebrated their first Thanksgiving with their new daughters from China. And what a gift it was to be thankful for! We were quite a group, with Aunts, Grandparents and big brothers and sisters joining in.

We arrived on several different flights, and all connected in Beijing, to travel the next day to Nanchang to receive our baby girls. This flight to Nanchang was only a couple hours long, but seemed almost as long as the one to Beijing, as we were so close now to meeting our children. It was a quick stop at our hotel, then off to the government buildings to unite with our girls.

This meeting was a flurry of excitement as families milled around, anxiously looking at the babies with their nannies, each trying to spot their own little ones from the photos we had received . Cameras were flashing, and video was rolling as Yulin quietly called out the names of each family, and our little ones were placed in our arms. I am not sure who was crying more, the babies, or the parents. All I could think of was how blessed we were, and how scared these tiny creatures must be, leaving what was comfortable for them to be with these new faces and sounds and smells. Holding our daughter for the first time was something I will never forget. Diaper changes took place, toys were offered and the little girls settled a bit, and began to take in what was to be a huge change in their young lives.

The first week we spent in Nanchang, getting to know our daughters and each other. We had some paperwork to fill out, family photos to take, and did some sightseeing. We saw beautiful buildings, glorious landscape and met many interesting people. Receiving our adoption certificates was amazing…seems like a small thing when we were all so busy, but having that little folder that said our daughter was ours, finally…I didn’t let go of it the rest of the trip.

Dinners in the evening were great fun, as we compared notes, and enjoyed watching each other interact with their new families. The food was very good, although I am sure it was made to be not too different so our western palates wouldn’t be upset. Our guide, Sally, was with us throughout this first week, and was attentive to each of us, and all of our needs and questions. She made us laugh, cry, and gave us lots of information and interesting facts about the culture and history of the region, for us to share with our daughters later on.

For most of us, apart from the day we received our daughters, the highlight of this first week (probably the whole trip!) was being able to travel to the orphanage in Fuzhou where our daughters were from. We were able to meet the Director of the orphanage, and he went with us to view the abandonment sites of our children, giving us an opportunity to take a photo for our daughters to have later in life. This was incredible. I know all of us are so grateful to FOI, Sally and the Director for this wonderful opportunity. We were able to see the countryside, the people from this region working in the fields, and have a better understanding of our daughters’ beginnings. I know for myself, this is something I will cherish forever.

The second week we were back in Beijing, with a few more bits of paperwork and the medical examinations to attend to. This week was a little more settled, the babies had by now become comfortable with their families and were laughing, smiling and playing. It was incredible, how quickly they adapted to us, and began to bond. It was fun to meet each day and see how the girls would recognize their own families and even “make strange” with others in the group…they are resilient and incredible children! Our girls were healthy and had good appetites! One little one had a cold towards the end of our stay and needed to see a physician. Again, Yufin made all arrangements quickly, and did follow-up to make sure everything was okay, which thankfully, it was. Lots of shopping was done, with many of us purchasing lovely silks, jade and pearls. My older daughter who accompanied us had a blast buying shoes and bags at the market (she’s 18 …what can I say)! We visited the Great Wall, Tiananmen Square, Temples and Palaces, the Zoo, and ate more great food. Our guide this week, Faye, was funny, informative, and helpful. She attended to all of us, and was patient when we asked numerous questions…over and over. We were lucky to have been treated to an acrobatic show that was just incredible. Sure made me want to get back on the stairmaster upon returning home! Some of us ventured off on our own, seeing different sites we were interested in. All of us were feeling comfortable, thanks to Sally, Faye, Yulin ,her sister Yufen, and brother Yupin.

You know, before we left, I questioned to myself why we had to stay so long in China. As much as I wanted to see some of the country, I also wanted to just come home and settle in with my daughter. I was wrong! There is a reason to be there for the two weeks. You gain a comfort level with your child with the support of loving and helpful people around you. You physically see and hear her people and homeland, and you gain a better understanding of the rich culture and history, which will be helpful in raising your daughter. I am grateful now for the two weeks there. And we WILL go back!

Everywhere we went, the Chinese people were wonderfully accepting of us, with smiles, nods and pleasant touches for our babies. No one was disrespectful. Some mothers on the street would stop us, to have a photo taken with their own little ones. At times, I felt so sad as I looked at some of these kind women who were so welcoming to us, wondering if one of them was a Chinese mother who had given up a child in the past, allowing this to happen for so many other families around the world. As parents here, I believe all of us will forever be grateful to and remember the parents there, as part of this huge family.

As I write this our Eva is sleeping peacefully beside me, and as I look at her little face I marvel at the changes she has made and the many experiences she has already been through in her young life. It is humbling, and awe-inspiring.

Many thanks from all of us to Yulin, her family, Sally and Faye, Family Outreach International, and the people of China…for this wonderful experience and our beautiful daughters.

Esther Aiken-Rogerson