January 2005

Not a Trip Report

Ellen Margolese of Toronto travelled in January to Chengdu adopt Noah. As well as his mother, Noah was met by his grandparents, and Deborah Forsyth of Campbell River BC who was adopting Weijia from the same orphanage. Ellen wrote this trip report

This is not an ordinary trip report. Well, what report is? But still, this is the story of how Noah aka KangKang and I came to be a family. I started my adoption process with the same idea as most; a baby girl from China but, for various reasons, I heard about the waiting child program. I did my research thoroughly and soon learned that the children China lists in this program have minor to moderate physical special needs. These needs are not able to be corrected in the SWIs because of the expense but here, most are easy to deal with. And, about half the children are little boys. So, slowly, my perspective changed and I applied for the Waiting Child Program. One difference is the agency has the children’s files “waiting” so as soon as I had Ministry approval, Bob told me about a little boy whose photos had captured his heart. Long, Ning Kang was 3 and a half and had a leg length difference. Bob sent me the file and I saw a solemn, bewildered looking little boy with huge eyes. Bob was right; he was a darling. I got my LOI in fast and my dossier went to China in record time. And so begins the wait. The difference is, you have your child’s dossier from the time your documents go to China. It is harder to wait those months with your child’s photo in hand. I celebrated his 4th birthday without him. I sent him a package with another family going to back up their daughter at his SWI. I asked for English tutoring for him. I nagged Bob and Yulin relentlessly as I waited. Through heroic efforts on Yulin’s part, I was able to travel with the January group. This was fantastic as a 4 year old girl was also being adopted from the same SWI. The children knew each other and we felt it would make the transition easier if they were together for the first 2 weeks.

Well, that “solemn” little boy came bounding into the room hopping, jumping, twirling and singing. He is bright, affectionate, cheerful and sunny. He called me “Mama” from the first. My parents traveled with me and we spent much of the trip in hysterics at Noah’s antics and his general exuberance at life.

One morning at breakfast he informed the waitress he had to order because his Mama spoke English. He told a flight attendant his mother was a foreigner- but he liked her. He laughed with joy at the glass elevator in the hotel. He made quite a face when he first tasted Sprite and continued faking the reaction for days as he liked the attention he got. We did not do much sightseeing. It is cold in January and little boys are not much into sightseeing but we had a blast. He and I had “ tea” in the hotel lobby bar. We played with Lego, ate pizza, swarmed by little girls, played with cars and flipped channels on TV.

And, now we are home. He gets better and better. He is much calmer, no more channel flipping. He is still exuberant and enthusiastic. I have trains all over my living room floor. He is learning English rapidly. We both sleep through the night (try that with a baby!) He charms everyone he meets. He has adapted to daycare beautifully. And, in the middle of April, Bob finally got to meet the little boy he championed, looking nothing like that solemn first photo.

Changsha

Dawn Sutherland of Winnipeg travelled to Changsha with her sister, Lynn Sutherland, to adopt her daughter Quinlin.

Dawn and Lynn conspired to write about their experiences

Dawn and Lynn’s Top Ten

Number 10 – Don’t believe the weather forecast you download from the internet.

Explanation: In January, China is cold and many of the buildings are heated just above the temperature outside. Even in the South, Changsha, the internet said 16 degrees for the week we would be there and it did not get above –4 Celsius.

Lesson: Be prepared for rain, wind, smog and snow.

Number 9 – Forget about wearing that nice white top, ever again!!!

Explanation: Many new parents had Chinese food hand prints and spit up collages on their clothes after each meal. The white tops brought out these designs the best!

Number 8 – You can never have enough Cheerios.

Explanation: Thanks to Peter and Tina for purchasing a week’s supply of Cheerios for the entire group. Cheerios are not just a breakfast food.

Number 7 – Make friends with the facilitators.

Explanation: The young women who accompanied the group on all the tours, both in Changsha and Beijing, Vicky, Grace, Fay and Kitty, were a wealth of information about Chinese culture and the area in which our daughters were born. I was able to ask the meaning of several of the Chinese sayings and what many of the pictures on the dresses, painted bottles and gifts in general represented. One of my most precious memories is finding the perfect painted bottle with a crane and pines (which is for longevity) and having the artist paint Quinlan’s name on the inside of the bottle. Also we asked our facilitators to write a Chinese food order so that we could travel from restaurant to restaurant and still be able to order the food we liked. Special thanks to our guides Vicky, Grace, Fay and Kitty for the awesome job they did at showing us the wonderful sites of China.

Number 6 – Make friends with the people in your group.

As Alison and Jamie Heaphy write:

“Other things we'll always remember are the great group of people we travelled with! There was always someone who could give you advice, loan you some medication, go shopping with, etc. We miss all the babies playing together in the playroom or hall and the spicy food in Hunan too! Our little Hunan Spicy Girl still loves spicy food now that we're back home..And a huge thanks to Yulin who made this trip so memorable. She went above and beyond her duties to make sure each and every baby was healthy and happy and we can't thank her enough!

Number 5 – Barter, barter, barter.

Explanation: I was not really interested in bartering in the markets but once in the atmosphere it was so much fun. Give it a try!!!

Number 4 – Feed your daughter the food she is used to, it will make her smile!!

Explanation: As Russ, Maureen & Kirsten Hanson write,

One of our fondest memories of China (we have sooooooo many) happened the second evening after we were united with Kirsten. She was still quite fussy and after receiving our translated information, we learned that she liked congee (we hadn't made it to the restaurant with her yet). Russ and I took Kirsten to the restaurant in the hotel for some congee and could not believe her reaction. After the first mouthful of congee she began to jump up and down, clap her hands and squeal with delight! It was the first time we heard our daughter laugh out loud. She continued to gobble up her congee while laughing and pointing to all of the New Year decorations that were up. She provided entertainment for the restaurant staff, the other patrons, and especially her Mommy and Daddy. The way we felt to see our daughter truly happy and hear her laugh for the first time simply cannot be put into words. We will never forget that amazing moment.

Number 3 – Keep an eye out for your daughter on adoption day!!

Alison and Jaime recount:

Our most memorable moment in China was definitely January 24, around 4pm! The anticipation had been building all day, we knew we were getting closer and closer to our babies. The bus ride to the provincial building seemed to take forever and you could see how nervous and excited everyone was. We were all about to become parents!!!
It was incredibly crowded and hot when we arrived at the building but all we could think about was "where is Camdyn?". When we were shuffled into one room for a minute we quickly realized we saw Camdyn. She was sitting quietly with her Nanny. The nanny recognized us right away (from our pictures we'd sent) and motioned us to come over. The tears began flowing as Jamie and I approached our soon to be daughter! We weren't sure if we were really supposed to be taking her at that point, so we just kept our distance and smiled and talked to her. Camdyn was smiling and seemed happy with everything that was going on. We were just as quickly asked to leave that room and wait in the hall, but it was so hard to leave Camdyn. We waved 'bye' to her, and she waved back! Out in the hall we all waited (not so patiently) for our name to be called. We were one of the last names called and it seemed to take forever. But finally it was our turn and we headed into the room. It all happened so quickly and before we knew it, Camdyn was being handed over to me! She didn't cry and was quite content holding the little teddy bear we'd sent her. We were herded out of that room and back into the hall where it all sunk in. We finally had our daughter... all those long months of waiting had paid off! I think we were both in shock and not too sure what to do. On the bus ride back to the hotel it began to become more real... we were her parents! So Jan 24 is a day we'll never forget. China gave us the greatest gift they possibly could!

Number 2 – You can never thank Yulin enough.

Explanation: Yulin was thinking about our welfare and the welfare of our daughters every step of the trip. She made sure we were well taken care of and that our daughters were safe and happy.

Number 1 – Enjoy every moment of the trip, every moment with your daughter, it only comes once.

Mary Sutherland’s comment speaks the most clearly to this:
My most memorable moment, the one that had the biggest impact on me, was our last day in China. Our group was assembling in the hotel lobby to board the busses for the trip to the airport and departure from China. As we were chatting and waiting, Natalia was sitting on the floor with me, enjoying all the activity around her. I looked to find her kissing the hotel lobby floor. Although horribly unsanitary, it hit me that she was kissing the ground of the country she was born in. Later, as we were taxiing down the runway and lifting off, the reality of the short part of Natalia’s life spent in China hit me. She was leaving China where her birth mother and father gave her life. I firmly believe that they loved her so much as to risk leaving her on the doorsteps of such a truly wonderful orphanage, Yuanling. My thoughts also went to her foster mom who cared for her for basically her entire life to that point. The delightful, loving, and happy little girl she is today, I am sure, is reflective of the love and care she received from her families and home in Hunan. God bless those women and their families for Natalia Mei Yan. She is the happiness we found at the end of a very long road.