January 2002

The Toner Family Chronicles

In January, 2002, FOI families travelled to Hangzhou and Nangchang adopt their children.
Joanne & Kevin Toner and their two older children, Mallory(16) and Joshua(15) went to Nangchan to bring home Meili. We asked the elder Toners four to give each a personal impression of the trip and of China.

Mallory’s Story

Thirteen babies, many new parents, and then there’s me, whom is none of the above, enjoying an experience of a life time. 

China was a wonderful place to visit because I came unprepared for everything that this place had to offer. I was especially unprepared to fall in love so quickly with Meili. From the first night, she was already showing us her eight teeth with her glamorous smile. She is constantly learning and she is certainly attached to us as much as we are to her.

When the first plane landed in Shanghai, I was stuck with the realization that I know nothing about this country. I thought the culture would be similar to ours but nothing seemed to be the same. There is nothing more exciting that sitting down at a table, ordering all sorts of dishes and not knowing what to expect.

I spent two weeks in China visiting all sorts of places. My favourite was undoubtedly the Great Wall at Badaling. The scenery was amazing with mountains as high as the sky. The thought of men building the wall with their bare hands still astonishes me to this day.

Although there are many people in China, while walking through the street, it always seemed like their eyes were smiling. I had lots of fun bargaining with the merchants. They always had a smart remark when you gave them a very low price. In Canada, I never had the experience of bargaining, so I took advantage of this opportunity.

Although the trip wasn’t long, I believe I learned more in two weeks than I do with months of school. There was certainly nothing more priceless than seeing beautiful babies being brought into the arms of anxious parents. I’ve seen the joy and love that my own parents already have towards Meili Hui. But what’s most impressive is that I, Meili Hui’s sister, as much in love with her as my parents are, am without the burden of responsibility. To me, that’s more than I can bargain for, even in a Chinese market.

Josh‘s Story

What I liked the most about China

During my wonderful trip to China I was given a once in a lifetime opportunity to see the Forbidden City, the Summer Palace, Tiennemen Square and also the Great Wall. These are all historic places that help make China what it is today. However the best of my experiences were not in any of these places. It was in the stores that I had most of my fun. There were so many places to go and so little time. In China my father taught me the best ways to haggle.  I was able to buy most of the things that I saw and liked.  I bought so many nice items that I had to go out and haggle myself a new suitcase. Therefore if I had to tell you what I really enjoyed doing the most in China, it would have to be the shopping.

Joanne‘s Story

January 24th

What never ceases to amaze me is how quickly our daughters have become part of our families. Ten days ago, thirteen girls were given to us by their respective nannies and we became parents, either for the first time or in our case the eighth time.  Seeing our daughter for the first time was an indescribable feeling, one of love and of sheer delight.  Our family had gotten use to the little face in the picture, her image was in every room of our house and now she was real, only a little bigger and a little older.   We recognized her right away.

She didn't like us much, she wailed for a good hour and a half. She then gave us a smile and then a laugh.  In just a couple of days, she relaxed and it felt like she had always been there, the missing piece or our puzzle.

Our lives will never be the same, only better.  Our journey to China has ended, we have grown to understand a little bit of her culture. Our daughters have bonded with their new families. I will never forget our trip to China, the friendships we made, the memories will forever be etched in my mind.

Kevin’s Story

Well the October 2000 trip group has just arrived from China with our wonderful children in tow. It was an excellent trip in every sense. We were part of the group that went to Nanchang in Jiangxi province. Our guides, Yufen and Shirley were great hosts. Yufen helped us live the Chinese experience and Shirley taught us the history and culture of the area. We learned the importance of even numbers in scheduling events, the symbolism of firecrackers in celebrating weddings and funerals as well as many traditions and customs. Once Charlotte, Catherine, Lilly and Meili got their passports and were ready to travel with their new families, we joined the others in Beijing.

All too soon, it was time to come home. As our plane left Beijing, I watched our daughter sitting on the lap of her new Mom. She was oblivious to the fact that she was leaving her motherland to become a citizen of Canada.

I remember thinking that it’s funny how things work out. China has these beautiful children who need a loving home and we need them to complete our families. It’s a perfect fit. Line the “Ying” and “Yang” that we hear of in Chinese folklore. Everything is in balance once again, except that our daughter has had to leave her homeland to complete the passage to balance. She is leaving a land rich in culture and steeped in history. While I watch her, I wonder…. “Will our Meili be curious to know everything she can about her origins, her native land and its people?”

We arrive home and begin unpacking. Meili finds her old shoes from the orphanage. She holds them to her face, eyes closed, she smells them. She stands and walks around the kitchen holding them to her chest. It becomes apparent to us that, yes, she will want to hold onto whatever she can from home.