Adopting Fumairia

My second daughter, Fumairia, was adopted on September 27, 2004 in Nanchang, China. I did not initially set out to adopt a child with a special need but China has a quota for single parents wishing to adopt a so-called “healthy child”. So, when I contacted the Manager of Adoption and Children in Care, Family & Children's Services Division in my province in June 2003, I was informed that I would not be able to submit an adoption application for China until 2006. I did not wish to wait that long to bring another child into our family. I contacted Family Outreach International and indicated my interest in adopting a child with a special need. Bob Stevens took the time to speak with me at length about China’s Waiting Child Program and the special needs children that could be adopted through this program.

After doing internet research and contacting the Cleft Palate Clinic at the IWK Children’s Hospital in Halifax, Nova Scotia, I decided that I would be able to raise a child with a cleft. Although, I will admit I did wonder about how I would react the first time I actually met her in person; how I would be able to feed her; how I would prepare an almost three-year old child to see the first photo of her prospective sister and how would she react to the cleft lip?

And so, Fumairia (a little girl with a cleft lip and a third degree cleft palate) was introduced to us by FOI through China’s Waiting Child Program for Children with Special Needs. As soon as I saw her proposal picture and saw those sad eyes staring back at me… I knew she was meant to join our family. My research had indicated that there was the possibility that clefts can be associated with other syndromes. However, after a couple of days of soul-searching, with that little face upper most in my mind, I decided that I could and would deal with whatever came along. As we all know, children (biological or adopted) do not come with any guarantees.

My daughter Christelinda (age 3 at the time) was fascinated and full of questions about the baby’s lip… why did the baby have a sore lip and when was the doctor going to fix it? etc. At no time did the sight of the cleft disturb her. The few family members and friends who saw the proposal photos commented about how cute she was. They were delighted and excited that another little one was going to be joining the extended family.

In July, Yulin contacted me to say that Fumairia would be undergoing lip repair surgery in China and she visited the baby in the hospital the day before her surgery. The doctors in China did a beautiful repair. Our plastic surgeon commented more than once about how nicely her lip had been repaired.

As soon as I received our travel dates from FOI, I contacted the Cleft Palate Clinic again to arrange an appointment for the end of October for Fumairia’s initial visit with the cleft team. At this visit, it was decided that her palate repair should be done as soon as possible. It was also clear to the Audiologist and the Ear, Nose and Throat specialist that she required an intervention to minimize and possibly reverse some hearing impairment. The ENT would insert tiny tubes in both ears at the same time as the palate repair. (The team tries to combine procedures so as to keep the exposure to anesthesia to a minimum.) It was very evident that these medical professionals were genuinely interested in children. On November 27, I received a call stating that the surgery would be December 1st. It was short notice, but it prevented me from having nightmares about the surgery, as I was already hurting for her.

The morning of the surgery, we were informed that Fumairia would be placed in isolation as she had been hospitalized for over 24 hours within the past year in a hospital outside of the Atlantic Provinces. This was in reference to the lip repair surgery performed in China in July 2004. The palate repair surgery went well, but she was traumatized by the whole experience. When I walked into the isolation booth of the recovery room, the nurse was struggling to hold Fumairia. My daughter was flailing about, arching her back, kicking and screaming while franticly trying to remove the IV and other line from her hand… in spite of the arm restraints. After a bit she calmed down in my arms and I, not the nurse, carried her up to her hospital room. Not until the afternoon of the following day would she allow someone else to hold her…. that being her Aunt Linda, whom she sees on a daily basis.

The first two weeks post-surgery, Fumairia tried to avoid sleep. It seemed that she was terrified that if she closed her eyes something bad or painful would happen to her again. Now six weeks later, she still wakes up frequently during the night, but at least I can pick her up, check her pamper, offer her a sip of water and then return her to her crib and she usually falls asleep again for a while. It appears that Fumairia’s post-operative behaviour is a common side-affect of the anesthesia.

On January 6, 2005 Fumairia had her first follow-up appointment with the cleft team. She initially did not want them to look into her ears and mouth, but they were very patient with her. Her hearing acuity has vastly improved with the myringotomy tubes. Her palate is now completely closed with the exception of a small fistula near the gum line, which will be closed when the doctor does the bone graft in a few years. The fistula, or small opening, is the size of the top of a pencil eraser. It will not affect her speech. She is not talking yet. (Not all 22-month old children are talking.) However, she can holler “MAMA” with the best of them. 

From the day she walked into my arms at 18 months of age, Fumairia has had a clear discharge from her nostrils, but we’ve only observed milk coming from her nose on maybe 3 occasions. She has clearly managed to maneuver the food & liquids to the back of her throat and down. People we meet do not see that she has a cleft.

Everywhere we go, people stop us to admire my daughters. Both girls bring smiles to so many people with their own winsome smiles and friendly personalities. The counter persons at the local post office, the cashiers & associates at the stores, the parishioners at church, neighbours, etc all look forward to having a word with the girls and are disappointed when I drop in without them.

Would I do it again… knowing what I know so far? (She has been my daughter now for 3 months.) Yes, I would adopt a child with a cleft in a heartbeat! Fumairia is a healthy, spunky, good-natured and very active little girl who has a beautiful smile. She is full of mischief and likes nothing better than to tease her ‘big’ sister.